Addiction – is severely degraded substitute of true experience of joy.

• Addiction is a tyrant
• It has several method to attach 
• It is cunning
• Its main objective is to destroy you
• We always have a choice
• Instead of treating the symptoms, look at the underline addictive process
• Addictive Process: Maximize pleasure with minimized pain
  • Feeling out of control
  • Before the above, the compulsion cycle
    • Physical or psychological dependency or craving is developed
    • Path of excessive indulgence
    • Repetitive in nature and difficult to stop
    • Addiction is true substitute of joy
• Addictive process is caused by inner addict
  • It is false logic to skew truth, and stems from being selfish and self centered.
• Behind Addictive process is original wounds:
  • Painful experiences from the past or present
  • Inner addicts is the psychological defense to find relief from the original wounds
  • At the core of it, it is feeling of insecurity, fear, or some inadequacy that maybe too painful to go through.
• To Change the Addiction – we need to change at the core and not at the surface level.
  • We can only do that by looking at the addictive process
  • Part of the Addictive process is Compulsive Cycle
  • Compulsive path either takes the path of Acting out (excess) or Active in (avoidance or deprivation), and it involves behavior repetitive in nature, and difficult to stop. 
  • And it manages one emotional stage, creating a psychological and physical dependency.
  • It transcends daily or some pain into something pleasurable and wonderful.
  • We have to closely look at the intent of seeking that pleasurable and wonderful
  • The goal is to understand the perspective – why is it that when you start to stop the addiction, it comes back, and you never stop.
  • The addiction cycle is made of 5 predictive steps, which will cycle repeatedly over and over again.
    • Obsession
    • Anxiety
    • Compulsion
    • Temporary Relief
    • Distress
  • Obsession:
    • First Sign that addiction cycle is started when obsession is overwhelming mental preoccupation of destructive thoughts, irresponsible acts, sexual escape or mental fantasy.
    • And because you act out regardless of consequences, however, at the mental level there is a conscious awareness that you are pushing the boundaries here. 
    • But there is decision to off that voice and focus on the opportunism for the excitement ahead.
    • Most episodes begin with the fleeting thought, often following some sort of trigger – trigger could be the mood you want to avoid, whether it be sadness, loneliness, disappointments, anxiety, anger, or something of sexual in nature or seeing something erotic, etc
    • The compulsion is so intense that all other responsibilities are minimized.  And this obsession becomes all focus
    • At an emotional level, there is an overwhelming excitement of planning how to act out
  • Anxiety:
    • This is disturbance caused in your life as a result to your thoughts – may experience in the physical level – feelings of anxiety, irritability, agitations, fatigue, tension, and you may find you cannot concentrate tasks on your hand. You may experience sexual pressure that you cannot make this go away.
    • The more you want to push away these thoughts the more you get them, and only way to get out is to act upon it.
  • Compulsion:
    • This is made of 2 small steps – Ritualization and then acting out
    • Ritualization – it pulls you and it is automatic  – the part of the brain which is called the limbic system which stores emotions, memories, motivations, are very alert in these experiences.
    • The more emotionally charges this experience becomes, the stronger it stores in the brain to act becomes automatic.
    • The ritual mainly becomes automatic, without many efforts nor intentions. The power of ritual is that it does not need much conscious energy.
    • The pleasure/pain principle part resides in this part of the brain. Maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain – it records in its memory the ways you maximize pleasure with minimize pain.
    • So when the behavior is triggered by an emotional symbol or object, the rest of the ritual follows automatically.
    • Even watching something on the internet, or looking at the picture can trigger and the ritual follows automatically.
    • These rituals can be engrained over many years, and the effect it can have on the body.
    • The hardest part of leaving the addiction is not acting out but it is the instantaneous feeling of excitement or pleasure
    • Acting out – next phase – engaging in a behavior – acting out – like taking drugs, smoking, drinking, watching porn, etc.
    • In this phase all sorts of commitments or responsibilities are thrown out of the window. All commitments to your religious beliefs, to family, to community are all thrown out of the window.
    • The only concern at this stage it to get the momentarily fixed.
  • Temporary Relief:
    • Brief Physical relief but never brings that desired experience of joy and it is not ever lasting.  It lasts momentarily and takes it to the next step – Despair.
  • Despair
    • At this stage the reality sets in – the illusions are broken to pieces, followed by feeling of shame, feeling of lost, and feeling of given to your desires.
    • You feel dejected and humiliated –you believe you violated your spiritual belief, you cheated on your spouse, you feel you are no more the role model, you lost your values.
    • You vows to your self you will not do this again
    • You feel worse about your yourself, as a result you pull away from others and goes into isolation and portray to others that everything is ok from outside.